Thursday, August 6, 2026

SojoMail - Peak youth group is over. Now comes the reckoning

By Betsy Shirley
Editor in Chief, Sojourners

If you know what Relient K’s lead singer wears in “Sadie Hawkins Dance,” this one’s for you. Ditto if you ever participated in a 40 Hour Famine, signed a purity pledge, or dutifully wore a t-shirt over your swimsuit on the “fun day” of a summer mission trip.

Those of us who came of age in a certain period of U.S. youth groups—what Tyler Huckabee unofficially dubs “Peak Youth Group Era”—are now adults. And though we’ve tossed out our copies of She Said Yes and I Kissed Dating Goodbye (good riddance!), we’re still reckoning with the youth groups that raised us.

This isn’t a “let’s trash youth groups” piece, though. As a veteran of the youth group trenches himself, Tyler talks with youth ministry experts and alumni who acknowledge the “good intentions” of “giving kids spaces that were spiritually informed, but fun.” And while I personally wish to spare future generations from what I saw when my youth pastor tried to figure out how many marshmallows he could fit in his mouth at one time, fun and games weren’t really the problem.

The real problem, Tyler points out, is that this “highly programmatic” style of youth group treated teenagers as either “a demographic to be retained or a problem to be solved.” Or as one expert told him, the history of youth group is really about “social control.” The good news? A chorus of churches and theologians are pushing for us to rethink the way we treat the church’s youth. In short: Youth groups don’t have to be this way.

Here’s what else you need to know this week:

Immigration and Customs Enforcement raids aren’t showing up in the headlines the way they were earlier this year, but that doesn’t mean the raids have stopped—they’ve just gotten more subtle. But you know what’s not at all subtle? The growing clergy resistance against ICE.
In New Jersey, a web of interfaith leaders and volunteers are fighting to give people in a local detention center what the law says they should already have: the opportunity to practice their faith and receive spiritual care. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
The new Spider-Man film is fun, emotionally mature, and quietly accepting of a surveillance state.
Our outgoing social media assistant makes a case for more poetry in public life. We’ll miss you, Marjorie!
Bill McKibben likens the U.S. ocean sensor network to a church planning process.
A summer travel PSA: Preach the gospel always, but for the love of God, not by issuing an in-flight altar call on an airplane (no matter what they told you in youth group).

Oh, and if you’re wondering, the best outfit for a Sadie Hawkins dance is revealed in the chorus of Relient K’s 2001 hit: “The Sadie Hawkins dance/ In my khaki pants/ There's nothing better.”

Reckoning With the Youth Groups That Raised Us (by Tyler Huckabee)

We were meant to live for so much more. But we lost ourselves.

Read the full article

Community Notes

We’re adding a new section to SojoMail in response to consistent reader feedback about a desire to connect with each other as readers, not just with Sojourners editors! This week, we’ve already seen responses pouring in about Tyler Huckabee’s just-published story on a youth group reckoning.

This makes us want to know: What was your experience like with youth groups? Were you a part of one, or have you led one? Let us know by hitting ‘reply’ — we read everything you send to us, and you may even see yours appear in next week’s SojoMail.